a i s h a h i z h e r e

28 May 2007

A3-T7-U1, Putrajaya

It runs in the family…

Mum always says that I am so much more resembled of my father. Be it the way I talk, work and how friends matter more than family, sometimes. Well, I think I couldn’t agree more. I remembered one night, when I was about 9 or 10 years old, we were on our way to my grandparent’s home which is about 30 minutes drive from our home, when a father’s friend stopped our car and told my father that another friend is sick at home. So, instead of continuing the journey, my father chose to leave us (mum, me, brothers) at a mini market and went to fetch the friend to bring him to a nearby clinic. We reached grandparent’s home later that night.

This likely situations happen to me all the time. When I was doing my matriculation in Penang, my friend’s home always be the prime destination. Considering that my home is about 1 hour drive from the bus terminal, I chose to spend most of my first day’s break at friend’s. Usually, it was Nas’s. Well, when I first introduce Nas’s father to my father, I was shocked that my father knew Nas father very well, well, apparently they came from the same village. What a small world!

Now when I work here, Aimi’s mother seems to know my father. (Yes, they came from the same village).

More surprise happened when I spent a night at Aimi’s grandparent’s in Kuantan last Saturday. I was kind of remembering something familiar about the village (where Aimi’s grandparents stay)…and when I saw the signboard, I knew that I’ve been there before. It’s where my grandfather’s brothers live. And of course, Aimi ‘s grandfather knew them. Again, what a small world!

I think I am making some network without even realizing it. (I know more friends are making bigger networks here) But, coming from a simple family, (not as well known, as Aimi’s and Nas’s) I am glad to know that my family members had made some networks, and I think I have to establish this network.

To maintain this network, I will have to be more aware of my behaviour. See, people loves to chat about our attitude. Luckily my father and Nas’s are in a group of sporting father. (Our secret were broken : My father knew about the trip we made (8 of us) to Ferringhi during our dark ages…well, yes, through Nas’s father)..

Hmm… Being in this job circles, I knew more people, and we were taught to be known to people. And we were also taught the importance of knowing so much people. It is to create network. Luckily, I can walk around Putrajaya and wave my hand at least 2 times. Yes, I see those faces that I am familiar with. But it’s not helping when we are out with someone private. Yes, my friends face this incident many many times. As always, it was me who tend to be the third person. Haha. (I am sorry friends)

I don’t know how I am doing. Some people may see me as a social person. Some think I am not happening enough. Some think I am outgoing. Some say I am a psycho. Well, it’s for them to judge. As far as I think I am comfortable with myself, then I am o.k. I am happy with myself. At least I try to always be happy.

I was in Cherating last week, for the most awaited induction course. That was fun! I met and made lots of friends (and maybe admirers too, haha)..Thanks to the Career Development Unit for speeding a step to my confirmation! Thanks to Harimau members, that were: Arshad, Azrul, Naem, Fadzli, Lan, Nadzri, Koh, Murni and Farisha…you guys rock!

Uhmm…there’s an incident happen when I was undergoing my induction course. That happened on the very first day. I was allowing myself to grief for a while, but as I was about to drift away, friends started asking. Well, to those who see me as a happy person, one moment I was silence is like one hour of punishment. So, well, I had to chase all those blues away. Surprisingly, when I had some moment to myself, I found out that I couldn’t cry anymore. I think all the tears had gone with the laughter that I tried to create. Anyway, thank God I can overcome those sad feeling.

It was all or nothing. Nothing for me, apparently.

Hmm…anyway, with the 15% rise of the salary, many plans had to be altered. Well, I think I am in need of some luck here.

Sunday and Saturday seems to be my Pahang Day! Was there to free our mind (me, oren and paris). And to attend our friend’s wedding. Congratulation Aini.

Ops! Congratulations to my abang Zaha…and Beth…May you all be blessed and blissfully happy.

Okay. Guess that’s to wrap up all that happened for past week. Master!

Kenapa, bila kita rasa kita dah cukup mengenali seseorang…tetiba saja ada perkara yang berlaku yang membuatkan kita berfikir semula, betul ke kita betul-betul kenal dia…

Betul la orang kata, the more we know, the more we have to learn…

Kadang-kadang tu rasa macam penat kan…kadang-kadang terdetik rasa macam nak give up jer…tak nak berusaha langsung, biar je apa nak jadi, jadilah…at least, kalau benda yang kita nak tu tak berjaya kita dapat, tak dela nak frust menonggeng…sebab kita nak buat macam mana kan, kita dah tak berusaha, apa sangat yang kita nak harapkan?(astaghfirullahalazim…)

I m not being a pessimist here, tapi kadang-kadang bila dah penat, we tend to let things go…I m trying not to instill even a bit regret in myself…I promise not to regret, because my life is for me to decide…so, when things happen not up to my plan, I dont have to blame anyone, even myself…I tried not to blame anyone, even myself…I believe that Allah dah decide yang terbaik untuk kita…I believe that things happen for reasons…

Hmmm…just bluesing over a Monday morning…Chiao!

A special friend once asked, "If I were to involve in accident, or get ill…is there anyone (friends) going to care about me?" Those came out from his mouth when I told him that my weekend was full of visiting friends at the hospital.

Hmm. That was kind of hard to respond. If he is a friend, and I had time, I am sure going to make a space to visit him. I think I’d be beside him. If I have the facilities. Well, don’t really hope u guys understand. (It is difficult to make beautiful sentence in English…)

I was like to tell him there and then, that I will always be beside him, well if he let me to..

I think he had a negative believe in friendship. I’ve found out that he’s got a bitter experience in friendship, so bitter that it haunted him since. He told me that the friendship that I am having with some friends right now is something that never happen to him.

Again, I was like to tell him that I am willing to be his friend, true friend if he let me to.

He told me that he found it hard to believe in anyone anymore. He was scared if the same things happened twice.

Huh. That’s all. Let things go with the flow. Tata.

Sorry if anyone feels like this had something to do with them. I was just thinking.

A month without a single update! Well, I am so more tempted to update to the wordpress one. Anyway, I know, there are not so many peeps like to read this blog. But, for those who read, well, thanks.

As usual, many things happened. 

10th April - I was in deep trouble when an officer in this office got mad at me, because I was late submitting his LNPK. It got harder when I actually like him so much. Well, he is more than a colleague. Luckily we were fine the next day.

19th April - It’s him again.  Almost made me cry. It’s job + personal things. Wonder how I could be so sensitive. I don’t like it, ok!

26th April - 2nd May - I like! Time for a breakaway. To home I went. Was with family who I missed sooo much.

Hmmm…friendship gets better. I love my friends! (I know I’ve been saying this repeatedly, but well, I really love them and I’d like them to know!)

Take care!